Somebody That I Used To Know

In my life, I've had friends who treated me badly. They weren't true friends. They took advantage of me, they made me feel bad about myself, and they betrayed me. I allowed myself to be manipulated by these people because I didn't understand my own self-worth.

When I first started writing this post, I wrote out a big, long story about M, who was my roommate for about 2 years during college. During the time that we shared a house (I was 19-21 years old), I thought M was so cool. She was older than me, and she seemed to have it all together. We had a huge falling out when M accused me of lying and doing some things that I didn't do, and I learned that throughout the years M had been doing things behind my back that I didn't know about. M had never been a good friend to me, but I'd been just so happy to have an older, cooler friend, that I didn't see it. Hindsight is 20/20.

Recently I learned that M has moved into my neighborhood, which is what spawned this post. Through mutual friends I saw that she'd "checked in" (via facebook) at a restaurant that is located just one block away from my house. For a moment, I reverted back to my 19 year old self and I wanted to contact her, but refrained. I had to remind myself that I am now almost 28 years old, that I am no longer the 19 year old girl who just wanted to be liked. I don't need people in my life who don't appreciate me.

I don't look forward to the day when my daughter loses her first friend. I never want to see her get hurt, even though I know that it will happen eventually. She will learn that some people you're not compatible with, and that some people are just plain toxic. And, she will hopefully learn that she is too special, too lovely, too good to be brought down by the people around her. She is too precious to let others walk all over her. I hope that's something she figures out before she's 28.